We are going to travel back a while, two years ago to be exact. 2016. In moments of reflection I looked at certain people and felt a stitch of envy. People who wore the clothes they actually loved and felt comfortable in them. Wow, I used to think. How do they dare to wear that? I started thinking about my own closet and realized: I wore what everyone else did. I woke up everything morning and put on the clothes which wouldn’t stand out too much, but would be liked by every. single. person. As the envy passed a little, I figured I didn’t have to feel that envy. I did not have to wear ‘comfortable & camouflaged’ clothes. Slowly, I took little steps to owning my own closet. Now, 2 years and a lot of fear later, I finally look in my closet and think: ‘I really love every single piece of clothing laid out here’. But what improved from wearing what I really loved? And how can you make that change as well? Those two questions are answered below, so read further and discover!
Disclaimer: everyone has the right to wear what they love and I hope I do not offend anyone who wears what he/she likes if I talk about what I don’t want to wear. + you might not think of this ‘challenge’ as a big one, but many (me, me, me!!) think it is a hard and scary thing to work towards being fully comfortable with yourself and your outfits.
What changed once I started wearing what I loved?
First and foremost, I had to get out my own comfort zone. I had to go to the store and try on clothes I would usually never wear. And I had to face my honest opinion, I really liked it all. I had to actually wear it in public and close friends and family would see it. There definitely were times were I needed to tell myself a couple of motivational sentences (‘I feel comfortable and that’s most important’, ‘just be you’, etc) just so I could get out of the bathroom and not be terrified, but as time passed on I noticed that that feeling reduced.
Getting out of my comfort zone and facing scary moments made me grow as a person and I learned so much about being comfortable outside my comfort zone.
What happens when you wear what you like is that others might not. There have been friends who ran into me and said: ‘ohh, you have a new shirt, right?’ ‘yes!’ ‘oooh okay!’. They did not like what I was wearing. This used to hurt and offend me, but as this happened more frequently, I realized everyone has a different taste in fashion. So it made sense that some did not like it.
Separating myself from what I was supposed to love to what I wanted to wear taught me how to handle people’s opinion and the discovery of everyone having a different style preference. I also felt more empathy for all the individual people who wore what they wanted to wear and I strived (still do) to be like them.
Direct mental improvements
As I started to really love what I wore, I became happier and more excited to go someplace knowing I could wear that beautiful dress or those jeans.
Buying the clothes I wanted to buy, I felt more identified to me. I felt like I was more becoming my own person, instead of being like everyone else. I discovered more about myself and my style & feelings than I’d ever, if I had kept wearing my old clothes.
Being confronted with a certain style, made me aware of my own body. There have been plenty of times where I looked in the mirror and thought: ‘you can see my belly through that jeans’ or: ‘this dress might not fit me because of my stomach’, or any similar thoughts. I had to learn and am still learning how to love and accept my body the way it is. Wearing my favorite clothing makes me more comfortable in my skin and helps me cross boundaries when it comes to self love.
I feel more ‘me’ (as I have already pointed out) and that has caused me to eat more like me, how strange it sounds. I found that I am a person who loves to eat ‘Tumblr-food’ (let’s call it that for a moment) and I love to feel healthy. I discovered this because I started to wear the clothes that I honestly loved. So I had to be honest with myself when it came to eating, too. Yeah, maybe this is a weird point but I hope you can bare with me.
So, I made the change. But how can you do that, as well?
How to change to wearing the clothes you love?
A 4-step list on how to be comfortable wearing your favorites outfits.
It’s all in the mindset. Realize that some people will not like what you are wearing. One will say it, the other might not. But when you shift your mindset from fear to inspiration (you’re expanding boundaries, growing), it will be much easier. Instead of thinking: ‘everyone is going to hate me when I wear this T-shirt’, think: ‘I am proud of myself and as long as other people know I am comfortable and confident in this outfit, they will like it too’. Shift the negative thoughts into positive ones, no matter how hard it may seem. Don’t be so scared of the opinions and hard times, be excited for beautiful clothes and your happiness increasing.
Who to shop with?
Shop clothing with someone you feel comfortable with. Or go shopping alone. Someone who you rust and understands why you want to shop more out your comfort zone will make it much easier to actually buy & wear them. This will guarantee to help you make that almost-final step to wearing the clothes, besides actually wearing it. If you don’t necessarily have friends/family who you can shop with, go alone. It might be a bit more difficult but it’s a good way to go too. Plus, it is a great way to practice your independency while shopping (if you, just like me, have anxiety when shopping alone).
Don’t give up
Try it out for the next 4 weeks, instead of throwing everything away after the first day. Give it time, no matter how hard it is and uncomfortable you perhaps feel the first days/weeks. Time makes it easier and you will learn.
Last but certainly not least, believe in yourself. Making this change can be hard even though it may not seem like it at first hand and it for some/most, it will be hard, but having faith in yourself and knowing you can do it will keep you standing if a storm is coming (and it will calm the storm)!
I am still working towards being fully comfortable with myself but this is my story. Hopefully you will write yours too, this year. If you need a little help:
I believe in you & your worth.
If you want me to write about a certain topic or you have a question, don’t be afraid to comment below or e-mail me. Have a good day and don’t forget to smile in the mirror!