Poem: I don’t quite understand ( a story about self esteem and unrequited love )

Poem: I don’t quite understand

When I see you again

You tell me about her

Well you don’t tell me, specifically

Because you see, we don’t talk unless there’s a group

And I want to really get to know you

But she has already taken the spot I could have had

When I come home after hanging out with our group

Of friends that I love, including you

I don’t love you like I love them

See, I come home and look in the mirror in silence

Thinking does she look like me

Did you choose the easy option?

Was I too hard to get

Or do you really like her?

Because I would never replace you

With someone else

So I don’t quite understand

I’ll hold on to the belief

You were just too scared

You did like me

You just wish I was more aware

But I know my belief is not the truth

I wonder when you text me goodnight

But then again, you text the entire group goodnight

But still

I wonder

See, the thoughts in my head go right and go left

Did you spend hours thinking about what you said

Because I did and I hate myself for it

And I hate myself for liking you

But I love myself for loving you

Because you deserve to be loved the way I love you

See, I just hope you are as hurt as I am when you come home

Wondering if you should’ve worn better cologne

Wondering if you said the right things, made the right actions

But I am pretty sure you’re home now with her

Because your home are not four walls plus two windows

It is two gorgeous eyes on your pillow

See, I really know you

I have memorized your laugh when you’re not happy

And I could re-act the way you smile when you are

I know you are not happy always

But does she?

See, I’ve tried to distract myself with others

But I can’t help but wonder when I look into the mirror

Wondering if this empty mess

Will ever be as good as her

Or will ever be good enough to you

 

– maybe it is my self-esteem that scares you off

 

When I wrote this poem, I felt so much. I always feel so much, to be honest. Drama queen, huh? Hahah. I hope you like this poem and if you do, like this poem and you’ll make me a very happy person:).

You’ve ever fallen in love with someone who did not or you do not know if they did? Let me know how it worked out!

& if you have any suggestions, please feel free to tell me. The same goes for having  a question!

X

2 thoughts on “Poem: I don’t quite understand ( a story about self esteem and unrequited love )

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