Poem: she puts the blame into my faults

She puts the blame into my faults

I thought you were on my path

But as it turns out, you can’t

You can’t bring the courage to shut up and listen

When I’m silent, you get angry and get a suspicion

That I am being mean and you are the victim

When I speak up, after so many doubts

You remind me of all off my faults

No words of mine can seem to put the hate out of your mouth

But I am scared

I am scared that the waves of the sea

Will, no matter what

Push me back into you

That no matter how many times I, inside,

Told myself I won’t be alive

As long as I walk down her side

And never open my own mind

As long as I don’t say “hey I am not fine”

She will never ask if I am alright

As long as I wear the clothes that I like

She’ll try to come through my confidence

And tell me ‘you have ugly thighs’

I am scared that if I finally open my mouth

Tell the words, tell my doubts

She’ll turn the blame into my faults

And all the sudden I’ll be the one

Who supposedly hurt her and I’m the wrong girl

But never did I ever hurt her

You see, the struggle with the sweet, green-eyed girl

Is that no matter what I tell her what hurts

She’ll always turns my blames into my faults

And never will she ever take credit for it all

No matter what I do, it’s never good enough

But I am too scared to drop the love

I am too afraid of telling her that

I can’t live with her as long as

She hurts me and I get blamed

But for now I am too scared to end the pain

–

A poem that is so close to my heart. I have written this piece a long time ago and luckily, my situation has calmed down. Toxic friendships can be incredibly hard and sometimes, or often, you have to let go, no matter how hard it is. I’m still trying to give in to that part, but I’m getting closer.

How would you handle a toxic friendship? If you have any advice, feel free to give it in the comments or you can contact me here. I would love to know.

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